Now That We're Married...

People keep asking, "So what's different now that you're married?". The first time it happened, it kind of stumped me, and I thought the person was making a snide remark about us living together before marriage, so forth and so on. But now that it has happened a few (several) times, I take less offense to it, and I have thought about the question and answer a bit more. Firstly, I guess the very basic things - day-to-day life, really aren't a lot different. Harris and I have been together so very long that, if we didn't know each other's little habits, idiosyncrasies, and routines by now, there probably wouldn't have been much hope for us. So I guess we have been very fortunate to not have to go through some of the growing pains I know a lot of other newlyweds talk about. It sounds cheesy, but at the very core, our relationship is founded on the fact that we are best friends. We argue, of course, but we are very fortunate to (usually) really understand where the other is coming from. That's not to say that the married life is easy. It's definitely not. I love how Kelsey and Eric Williams over at Words of Williams describe it - happily, not effortlessly married. I think that about sums it up perfectly - I am very happily married, but that happiness does not come without effort! Marriage is a life-long commitment, and, as with any commitment, comes work.

Back in my single gal-dom, decisions I made didn't usually impact anyone but me, and, occasionally, Lucy. If I wanted to save a buck or two and eat nothing but spaghetti for a week (seriously, the cheapest meal ever), I was the only one who had to suck it up and do so. Likewise, if I wanted to take that buck or two saved, and put it toward a new pair of shoes, well, great! Nowadays, every decision has a greater impact: on Harris, on our marriage, on our family (current and future). For instance, right now, I have a tab open on my web browser for some makeup I need (somewhat need, mostly want) from Clinique. Not that $50 is going to break the bank or anything, but I weigh those decisions more than I would have in the past (which seems hard because I was already the greatest example of buyer's remorse - I have been known to experience anxiety over a $4 latte from Starbucks.  I mean what?).

I digress. Back to the question at hand. So marriage is not easy, but it is fun! There is security and liberation in knowing that the guy sitting next to you over a bowl of your favorite Indian dish is here for the long run. The differences between now and the 10 years prior aren't so much in the things that other people would notice, but a culmination of all the little things that add up to the big things. The differences lie in the comfort of knowing he is my husband, and the joy of being his wife. I don't know what everyone expects to hear when they ask that little question, but those things are more than enough for me.